Faux- McRibs...ain't nobody takin' these away

Growing up, I despised McDonald's McRib sandwiches. There was just something weird about the pork/pickle/onion/BBQ sauce combo to my juvenile palette. Fast forward to adulthood. I've come to quite enjoy the McRib. As we all know, McDonalds takes away and revives the McRib at some seemingly unpredictable intervals. McRib lovers flock to McDonalds when they see those signs telling us that the "McRib is back". I have to admit that when I see those signs, I salivate. And then like a puff of wind, the McRib is gone again. What is a McRib lover to do during the McRib droughts? Make a Faux- McRib!!!!!

The Faux- McRib is rather easy to make.You only need FIVE things to make the sandwiches. The most important feature of the McRib as well as the Faux-McRib is the meat. The meat used in the sandwich is a rib shaped pork patty. I read all of the time about the suspect nature of "pork patties". I say to all who scoff...WHO CARES!?!?!? You are not eating a McRib for it's nutritional value. They are delish and fun to eat...that's the reason they are consumed. I mean, come on. I've never met an actual rack of ribs that look anything like the "pork patty". Therefore, let's just keep it real here. Take a deep breath and don't think about what a "pork patty" is. Just enjoy it. Of course, you might see people trying to convince you to make your own "pork patties" from scratch. I ask--why? Why not just let someone else do the work for you? There are a few companies out there that take care of the "pork patties" for you. On-Cor brand has a nice patty in a BBQ sauce (I'll talk more about the sauce in a bit) that you can find in the freezer section at the grocery store.


**Photo provided by www.on-cor.com

Banquet makes them too.

***Photo courtesy of www.grocerycouponnetwork.com

There are some that come without a sauce as well. The first time I made a Faux-McRib, I used a frozen patty that had no sauce included. It worked out great. Those patties were on sale for $1.50 for 6 of them. I've never been able to find them again. Perhaps they were being discontinued. :-) My most recent Faux-McRibs were the Family Buffet brand that I found at Walmart in the frozen section. These patties come covered in a sauce. The instructions state to microwave for 7 minutes, stir, then cook for another 4 minutes (those times were for my microwave oven wattage). Easy.

Once you've procured the rib shaped "pork patties", you need to make another big decision about your sandwich--the sauce. Fans of the McRib know that the sauce is very sweet--unbearably sweet for some. This is where making the sandwich at home can have an advantage. My first foray into my creation, as I stated previously, was using a non-sauced patty. I poured some inexpensive bottled BBQ sauce on top and it was very similar to the McRib. I, now, do something a little different which creates a less sweet sauce that I've come to prefer. I still use an inexpensive bottle of BBQ sauce, but mix it with the sauce that the pork patties are covered in. I simply pour the BBQ sauce over the cooked patties in the tray they come in and mix well (no need to use any additional bowls). Usually, the sauce that the patties are originally surrounded by isn't as sweet as regular bottled BBQ sauce. Mixing the two together makes the bottled sauce not too sweet. It's just a suggestion. You can do it anyway you please...full strength out of the bottle or not. Experiment. The thing to remember here is that these sandwiches are just to give you your McRib fix until the real thing is available. You might end up making a creation that you feel is better than the beloved McRib.

One other unique thing McDonalds does is with the cut of their onions. Some of their burgers have a minced onion. The McRib has slivers. Simply cut a white onion into rings and then cut the rings into halves. Then cut the halves into half (basically cross- cutting the whole onion slices with a giant "X"). This will make slivered onions.

The last two features of the McRib is a bun and sliced dill pickle chips. You can try to get as close to the original McRib as possible by finding a bun with sesame seeds on top. Or, you can use any kind of bun you prefer. I like to use whole wheat sub rolls. The whole wheat flavor has a sweetness to it similar to a McDonalds bun. Use any kind of sliced dill pickle chips you prefer.

Assembling your Faux- McRib is simple from this point. Heat up the frozen pork patties per the directions and mix up your sauce. Place a patty or two on top of your bun or sub roll along with some of the sauce. Top the patties with pickle and onion. Hope you enjoy your Faux-McRib until the real thing comes back.

Ahhh...chicken

For many years, roasting a whole chicken was frightening to me. There was just something about it that scared me. A roasted chicken seemed like such a big deal. About one year ago, our local Harris Teeter had an amazing sale on roasting hens. Harris Teeter was selling chickens for 59 cents per pound. The most expensive chicken I saw was about $3.50. Most of them were between $2.50- 2.90. If you know anything about the prices of chickens, that's truly a deal. I've seen chickens as expensive as $8-10. Harris Teeter had a 4 chicken purchase limit and I took full advantage of it. I figured I wouldn't feel so guilty ruining a chicken that only cost $3 or less. I roasted the first three chickens in the standard way. I washed them and put them in the oven for the appropriate time and that was that. I decided to do something a little more adventurous with the last chicken. I brined it.

I had heard of brining, but didn't exactly know what it was or its purpose. After much research, I learned that brining makes for a more flavorful and moister poultry. That can't be bad, right? So, I started researching what brine was comprised of. There seemed to be endless recipes for brine. Every single one contained salt. Most of them contained sugar. A few of them had vinegar. Even fewer had some sort of fruit juice or honey. And, even fewer had spices. Considering all of these recipes, I decided to come up with my own method of doing this.

Recently, Harris Teeter has chicken on sale again and it is time to try brining again as well. I thought I would share what I did with everyone. Mr. Bourne and I have been talking about how great the first brined chicken was ever since I made it. Naturally, I decided to recreate the magic (hopefully).

Mr. Bourne found a brining mixture for me. He purchased a box of apple sage flavored brine by Turkey Perfect. I immediately panicked because all of the instructions were for a big turkey. I just had a little 5 pound chicken. So, I did what I do best...I improvised. Here's the recipe:

Improvised brined chicken
***This recipe is adapted for a 5- 6 pound chicken
One 5-6 pound chicken
3/4- 1 cup prepackaged brining mixture
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup orange or apple juice
4 cups water
additional cold water as needed

In a pan over medium high heat, combine the brining mixture, sugar, and 4 cups of water until the sugar dissolves. Cool the mixture. Add apple cider vinegar and orange juice. Remove the neck and giblets from the chicken cavity. Rinse the chicken. Place the washed chicken into a large sealable plastic bag. Pour the cooled brining mixture into the bag with the chicken. Add additional water if needed in order to completely cover the chicken with the brining liquid. Seal the plastic bag and place the chicken in the refrigerator to sit overnight. 

When ready to cook the chicken, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. While the oven is heating up, remove the chicken from the brining liquid, discard the liquid, and thoroughly rinse the chicken. Place the chicken into a roasting pan or dish.

Place the chicken in the oven for 1 3/4- 2 1/4 hours. When a thermometer is placed into the breast of the chicken, it should read 180 degrees if it is done. Let the chicken cool which will make it is easier to slice. Viola! The chicken will be moist and the flavors of the brine will be imparted into the meat, but because you thoroughly rinsed the chicken before cooking, it will not be overwhelming. I usually don't eat the skin when I eat chicken, but with brined chicken I can't resist.

Easy recipe for sausage balls

The recipe I'm about to share is a favorite one in our home. There, of course, is a story behind this recipe. For many years ago I cooked Thanksgiving dinner. I want to say to all of you out there that brave making the Thanksgiving dinner...I salute you. I salute you because the Thanksgiving meal is a beast and takes a lot of time to create. For a few years I tried doing a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for Mr. Bourne and myself. I would wake up at some ungodly hour on that day to start my preparations. I would spend days prior to the day planning the correct time to start what parts of the meal so that everything was ready at a reasonable hour (usually around 4 or 5pm). Thanksgiving day was treated like a battle from the moment I woke up until the final forkful went into our mouths. Then there were the endless leftovers. I hated it. Yep, I hated Thanksgiving. I knew on that day that I was going to be on my feet cooking all day and not enjoying the holiday at all and then trying to figure out creative ways to use the leftovers.


Anyway, one of the biggest problems I had with the earlier Thanksgivings was that I was so focused on planning and preparing the dinner that I didn't think about breakfast or lunch. We would end up eating all of the sweet potato casserole before it even got a chance to hit the table because we hadn't planned breakfast or lunch. After two or three years of doing this, I decided that I needed to suck it up and cook yet another meal on Thanksgiving day. Then I had a brilliant idea. I would prepare or cook as much of the breakfast the night before and just heat up whatever the next morning. I needed something that would keep well in the fridge overnight and wouldn't be too complicated to prepare the next morning. I thought of the perfect Thanksgiving breakfast...sausage balls!!! I would prepare them the night before and store them in the fridge overnight. The next morning, I would just heat them in the microwave and we were all ready to eat.


Mr. Bourne and I have, thankfully, abandoned the Thanksgiving meal tradition in our home. Instead, I get to rest on Thanksgiving day and enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving buffet at one of our favorite restaurants (Wilkerson's Seafood Restaurant in Colonial Beach, VA). I have kept the sausage balls tradition on that morning because we still need breakfast since our buffet meal isn't until 4pm or so. You only need three ingredients for this recipe. The beauty of this recipe is that you can do so much with it. You can add additional spices, use different kinds of sausage, use different kinds of cheese, or add additional ingredients to your liking. If you like spicier foods, you can add chopped jalapenos to the mix. If you like a different kind of cheese, you can use it. If you like a certain type of sausage, go on and use it. If you use "country" sausage, you might want to add some sage or other spices. "Country" sausage doesn't have flavorings added. Most prepackaged sausages are already spiced and require no additional spices. 


Simple sausage balls
1 16 oz roll of sausage
2 cups of shredded cheese (I usually use mild or sharp cheddar, but a stronger cheese like asiago would be amazing in these)
3/4 cup of baking mix (such as Bisquick)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees
Pour shredded cheese into a mixing bowl

Pour the baking mix into the bowl with the shredded cheese and mix them together

Cut open the package of sausage and put into the bowl with the baking mix and cheese.

**Tip: I find that snipping off one end of the sausage packaging with kitchen shears and then cutting straight down one side of the roll helps to cleanly remove the sausage from the package.

With a fork, start to break up the sausage and mix with the baking mix and cheese

Once the sausage is somewhat broken up, get your hands into the mix and start to work the baking mix and cheese into the sausage. 

***There is nothing glamorous or pretty about this step. The ingredients tend to separate and you have to force the baking mix and cheese to stick to the sausage. Do not be alarmed when you see that there is still a great deal of the cheese and baking mix mixture still in the bowl after you've done this step. The next step will take care of this.

Now you are ready to start forming the sausage into balls. As you pinch off chunks of the sausage, you will notice that it feels "sticky" which means that it is not covered in the baking mix and cheese. Take each chunk and flatten it out into the mixture and roll it around in the mixture to pick up as much of the mixture as you can into each ball. Once you have picked up as much of the mixture into the sausage, roll it between your palms to form balls.

                       Notice that with each ball being rolled individually in the mixture, the baking mix gets used up

***At this point, you can store the sausage balls in a container and put them in the fridge if you don't want to cook them right away (for instance, if you form them at night to cook the next morning). If you choose to do this, you will cook the sausage balls at 375 degrees for 16-18 minutes.

Once you have formed all of the sausage balls, set them aside while you put aluminum foil on a baking sheet and spray with cooking spray.

Place the sausage balls into the 375 degree oven for 15 minutes. If you made them smaller and have more of them, cook for 13 minutes. 

Place the cooked sausage balls on a paper towel to soak up some of the oil. 

The sausage balls are either ready to be cooled slightly and eaten or they can be refrigerated and heated up when you are ready to eat them.

***Mr. Bourne loves putting hot sauce on the sausage balls and he says they're "yummy and spicy". 

Note: Please excuse the green frog nightgown. I actually made this one morning right out of bed and wanted to catch the action for my blog. :-)

Soul food, again...calf liver recipe

My pan gravy success from my previous blog entry had me thinking about typical soul/Southern foods. One of my favorite soul foods growing up was calf livers. Back in 1995, I suffered from severe anemia. One of the suggested foods I could infrequently eat in order to get more iron was liver. I recently had a physical and my iron levels were low, so I decided to eat some livers. Of course, liver isn't the only good source of iron. I just wanted some livers and getting the iron was an added bonus. 

I rarely take the time to fix livers myself even though they are very simple to prepare. I think one of the reasons so many people don't like the taste of liver is that they choose beef liver over calf liver. Beef liver has a strong flavor, whereas calf liver is milder. Due to this strong flavor, beef liver reminds people of its purpose more than calf liver does. Calf liver can sometimes be hard to come by, forcing people to select beef liver. I was lucky enough to find calf liver in the freezer section in the grocery store. Another reason people may be turned off by livers is that they have no idea how to fix them. Well, now you know how to prepare the delicious dish at least one way. So here we go...

Pan fried calf liver with onions and pan gravy

This dish is an old school classic. Whether you call it soul food or simply Southern food, it’s definitely comfort food. The wonderful thing about this dish is that it can be cooked in just one pan. If you are slightly anemic, as I am, this dish if chocked full of iron. Calf liver goes great with biscuits, hash browns, and eggs for breakfast. It also goes great with biscuits, mashed potatoes, and veggies for dinner.

1 package of calf liver

1 large onion (can be any kind or combination of kinds you enjoy as long as it’s the equivalent of one large one)

1 cup of milk (can be any amount of fat content)

1 cup of flour (2 Tablespoons reserved) 
3 Tablespoons of butter

½ cup white or red wine (cooking or regular) OR beef broth (each will have distinctly different flavors)
6 Tablespoons EVOO(extra virgin olive oil)

1 cup of water

Salt

Pepper

                                           The ingredients you will need (sans the water)

Defrost the package of calf liver. 

 
Place a large non-stick pan over medium high heat and add 3 tablespoons of EVOO to it. 

                                                          Olive oil in the pan heating

While the pan is heating, put the 1 cup of flour in a shallow dish, sprinkle with pepper, mix, and set aside. 

 Put the milk in a different dish. Thoroughly wash the livers and place them in the dish with the milk. Make sure the livers are completely covered with the milk, cover the dish, and set aside.   

Cut both ends of the onion off and remove the skin. With a large knife, slice the onion into round slices. Separate the slices. 

By now, your pan should be hot enough. Add the onion slices. 

                **You have a choice to make here. If you prefer to just have your onions “sweated” for a more mellow flavor, you can turn the heat down a bit, cover the pan with a piece of foil or a lid, and cook for about 1 to 2 minutes. You don’t need to move the onions around the pan with this method. “Sweated” onions have a gentler flavor and this method brings out the sweetness. If you prefer to cook your onions more, you can “sauté” them. This will give them a deeper flavor. If you want to sauté them, you will leave the pan uncovered, keeping the heat at medium high. Make sure to stir them periodically to assure that they don’t burn and are evenly cooked. You will see the onion slices turn from “cloudy” looking (raw) to translucent. Another option is to caramelize them. This will take more time. Reduce the heat down to medium. Don’t fuss with the onions until they start to brown. At this point, you should stir them so that the raw portions start to go through the browning process as well. Continue this process until the onions are brown all over. You may have to add more EVOO and lower the heat if they start to get too dry or start to stick to the pan (yes, food can stick in a non-stick pan). Make sure to stir the onions more frequently as they get darker in color so that they don’t burn. The caramelization process may take 20 or more minutes. OR, the last way you can cook your onions, is to just do what feels right to you. I tend to saute’ mine until they are slightly golden and somewhat similar to caramelizing, but not quite as brown as caramelized onions.

Once your onions are prepared the way you like, remove them from the pan, cover in a dish, and set aside. Add the remaining 3 tablespoons of EVOO to the pan and make sure the heat is turned to medium high. Uncover the milk covered livers. As you remove the livers from the milk, lift them up and let as much milk as possible drain off. After each liver is drained, dredge it into the flour dish. Make sure each liver is completely covered in the flour. As you remove each liver from the flour dish, shake it a little to remove the excess flour. 

                                                     Livers getting coated in flour

Place each liver in the pan.

**Depending on the size of your livers and pan, you might have to fry them in batches. If you cram them all into the pan at once, they will not fry, but will steam. We want to fry them so they can a slightly crispy “crust” on the outside while sealing in the moisture. Over- frying them will make them too dry and possibly tough. If you crowd the pan, they will steam leaving you with a mess of flour in the pan. If you do prefer to steam them, you would omit the flouring process and cover your pan. I prefer to fry them and therefore sometimes have to cook them in two batches.

Fry the livers for approximately 5- 6 minutes on each side. With the heat at medium high and the thinness of the livers, this should be enough to cook them thoroughly. If you are not comfortable with that amount of time, you may add more time. Just remember that you don’t want to overcook them. Also, remember that eating under- cooking meat can be dangerous.

Once the livers are cooked, remove them from the pan, place in the dish with your onions, and cover. 

Now, you will make the gravy for your liver and onions.  Sprinkle the 2 tablespoons of flour in the bottom of the pan. 

Add the 3 tablespoons of butter to the pan. As the butter starts to melt, move it around in the pan and over the flour.  

Once the butter is melted, start to scrape the bits from the bottom of the pan and make sure that the flour, butter, and bits are mixed. Stir constantly for two minutes. 

The concoction will start to brown. Even if it takes longer than the two minutes, just keep on stirring and make sure the mixture starts to brown in the pan. Add the wine, broth, or just water to the pan. 

**If you don’t have cooking wine you can use regular drinking wine, any kind of broth, or just water. The broths or wines will add a different layer of flavor to the gravy. Experiment with different things and create what flavors you enjoy.

 

As the gravy starts to bubble it will also start to thicken. This is when you add the 1 cup of water, a little at a time. You need to consider how much gravy you want to make and how thick you want it. Add enough water to make as much gravy as you need and the consistency that you want it. Keep stirring.

Once the gravy is the consistency and amount you want, add the liver and onions to the pan. Stir enough to make sure the gravy is completely covering the onions and liver and that everything is heated up.

You’re done!!! Serve with biscuits to “sop up” the gravy.

Enjoy!!!

Soul food...more than just food

Last weekend, Mr. Bourne went home to southwest Virginia for a visit with his family. During a call over the weekend, Mr. Bourne advised me that he had purchased a head of cabbage. When he returned to Charlottesville, he brought with him the largest head of cabbage I had ever seen. He showed me the cabbage and proudly declared that we would be having "soul food" one night this week. I knew the cabbage would take quite a while to prepare, so I decided to have soul food night on one in which he would be home later. This ended up being on Wednesday. We rarely have "soul food" and I wanted it to be a special experience. I immediately started planning what I wanted to prepare. Soul food night isn't one of the healthiest. I don't feel too guilty about that being that we do it so infrequently. I decided that we would have fried pork chops, fried cabbage with bacon, and refrigerator biscuits.

Wednesday morning I made my daily phone call to Mr. Bourne on the way to work. I started singing my daily song to him, but something was wrong. He usually laughs at my terrible singing. Since when had he become a music critic? I asked what was wrong, but he just said it was nothing. Feeling hurt that he didn't want to share what was truly wrong, I abruptly ended the conversation. Great...my morning was starting off just great. You see, when Mr. Bourne is in a good mood, it tends to put me in a good mood too. I have less to worry about when all is well with him. I wrote Mr. Bourne an email when I got into my office to tell him that if he wanted to talk about whatever was wrong, that I was there for him. He eventually said that he was just in a bad mood, had a lot to do, and was dreading the long work day ahead of him. Having resolved that, I decided to do something special for him. I added something to my soul food menu--sweet potato casserole!! For many years, Mr. Bourne and I celebrated Thanksgiving at home in Charlottesville. In recent years, we have gone out of town on the holiday and therefore my sweet potato casserole hardly ever sees the light of day. I knew this was going to do the trick and make his bad day improve by 100%.

Long story short, the meal was great. Everything was perfect. But, there was one particular part of the meal that I'm the proudest of. The gravy. I've never been able to successfully make "pan gravy". I can use a mix to make gravy. I can open a jar or can and heat up someone else's gravy. I have never been able to make my own gravy. Just like homemade biscuits, edible homemade gravy had eluded me...until this past Wednesday. For about two hours I sat at the computer researching how to make gravy. After looking at countless recipes online, I took the most common features and did a mash-up to experiment with. First of all, I would start by frying the pork chops (which were coated in a rub consisting of Cajun seasoning, garlic powder, and paprika and then coated in flour). I fried the pork chops in EVOO on medium high heat until they were golden brown on each side and then removed them from the pan. It was now or never. I lowered the heat just slightly, took a deep breath, and sprinkled enough flour in the bottom of the pan to coat it. I put in about 3 tablespoons of unsalted butter and moved it around in the pan with the spatula until it melted. Then I started the process that I had always failed at. I started scraping the bottom of the pan to mix the butter, flour, and left over drippings and bits from the fried pork chops (fancy folks call those bits of leftover stuff "fond"). From my research I learned to mix the ingredients around for two minutes. I don't know if you've ever really evaluated two minutes before, but it really can seem like a long time depending on the situation. I put Mr. Bourne in charge of keeping track of the two minutes, yet I asked him over and over if it had been two minutes. As if there was some magic going on, at about two minutes the concoction in the pan started to turn brown. This was something I had never been able to do before. My attempts at gravy had always left me with this terrible, floury, nasty gunk in the pan. But, not this time. This time everything was going great. Once the flour, butter,"fond" concoction started turning brown, I put in about 1/2 cup of white cooking wine. With the liquid in the pan, the ingredients started to bubble a little and thicken. I got nervous because I could see that there wasn't enough liquid. I put about 1 cup of water in a measuring cup and started to add a little bit at a time until it was the consistency of gravy..REAL, ACTUAL gravy!!! I put in a can of drained mushrooms and continued mixing.

I know this is going to sound corny, but I think I wanted to cry when I looked into that pan and I saw what was unmistakeably a mushroom gravy. I hadn't tasted it at this point, but it looked like the real thing, at least. This was the farthest I had ever gotten to having my "gravy" actually look like gravy. We plated up everything and I waited for Mr. Bourne to try the pork chops and gravy. I HAD DONE IT!!!! It was great. The white wine and mushrooms took my gravy to an entirely different level of goodness. I remembered every single detail of what I did so I could recreate it in the future.

OK...big deal, right? Why yes it is. There are a few reasons I told this story. I have tried and tried over the years to make gravy. Perhaps the planets were just aligned perfectly on Wednesday. I don't know. All I know is, I did it this time. Had I given up, I would have never known the satisfaction of making something so delicious. Although gravy is a simple thing to make, I had never been able to do it correctly. This time I did. How many times have you tried and tried only to fail and get discouraged about something? Did you give up or keep on trying? If you gave up, you may be missing the one time when it all falls into place, whatever works, you succeed, and learn the lesson that all of the trials were leading up to. Gravy may seem like a trivial thing to most. But, as my LONG tale shows, sometimes the little things mean so much. I have been smiling from ear to ear about this gravy. It was a small accomplishment, but a significant one to me. My gravy failures have been intertwined with so many other things. When I couldn't make that gravy over the years, I thought something was wrong with me. It's gravy for goodness sake! Something must have been wrong with me if I couldn't mix flour, water, and greasy bits together correctly. What I learned is that it was my patience that was being tested. That two minutes of mixing seemed like an eternity when waiting for something to work or not. In the past, those two minutes broke me. This time I saw how important it can be to be patient- great things can happen if you are. The last reason I wanted to tell this story is to share the recipe for making gravy. I know a lot of people my age who have no clue how to cook. Many of them don't know how to make some of the basic things. I think we get so bogged down in the failures that we are afraid to try. It's easier to pop open a can or jar than to watch a lumpy mess in a pan not even pretend to be gravy. It's hard on ones self esteem to fail. Successful cooking can be a real ego booster. To know that you can take care of yourself by cooking your own meals is empowering. As I learn, I'm going to pass this knowledge on through this blog. If nothing else, you all now know how to make gravy!

Rudeness everywhere

Okay, so I'm taking a deep breath before I start writing....

Now...

I try to be nice. I try to think of others before myself. I try to be the better person in a situation. But, I'm starting to think that I might just give being one of the rude people a try. I have quite a few pet peeves. I'm starting to figure out that most of them would fall under the categories of "rudeness", "inconsideration", and "nosiness".  Here are some examples:

A co-worker and I were talking a moment ago. I was giving her some important information that she needed. Another co-worker was crossing the room and decided that she needed to interrupt me to put in some useless information about the situation. I continued talking over the rude co-worker only to have to eventually shout out the name of the first co-worker to get everyone to shut up. Had the interrupter just kept her big mouth shut, she would have realized that her input was useless and that she looked like a fool for blurting it out. One of my other co-workers does a similar thing by coming in on conversations I'm having with someone else. She will stand there and go "what?" and "who?" and even start making up these strange parts of the story in hopes that we'll say "yes" to get her in on the conversation. Believe me, if I want you in on a conversation, I will include you. If you are not included, there may be a reason.

I know someone who does this weird talky thing. I can't tell if she is saying something to me, talking to herself, or talking to her imaginery friend. Most times it's to me while I'm focused on something important. I've gotten good at mindlessly saying "oh really?", "mmm, really?", and "I hear ya".

I have a co-worker who each morning will ask me how I'm doing. Before I can even start to tell her, she butts in and tells me the this and thats or what happened to her last night. Pretty obvious she didn't really want to know what was going on with me, but instead, wanted the open door to talk about herself.

Then there other people out in the world pissing me off. The person who can't wait until I bag my groceries in the U Scan aisle before they start ringing up their stuff, sending it crashing into my groceries as I try to bag them. One day I'm going to start putting their stuff in my bags too and just keep on walking. Or, maybe I'm most peeved at the people who think that they are so important that they must walk side-by-side on the sidewalk or in the hallway as they chatter, forcing you to have to either stop or go out of your way to avoid their running you over. No, I think it's the person who keeps on sitting at my desk at work and messing with my stuff and leaving crap on it or using my personal stuff to scribble on while I'm not at work or simply in the potty. Gee...so many people to be pissed off at. I'll need another lifetime to get it all in.

Happy Friday, everyone!!!

I know A LOT of beautiful people

I read a quote last night that really inspired me. Leila Lopes, the newly crowned Miss Universe from Angola, was asked what physical trait about herself she would change during the interview questions. This was her response:

"Thank God I'm very satisfied with the way God created me and I wouldn't change a thing," Lopes said. "I consider myself a woman endowed with inner beauty. I have acquired many wonderful principles from my family and I intend to follow these for the rest of my life." **

**http://news.yahoo.com/leila-lopes-angola-crowned-miss-universe-030158499.html

That brings me to my own views on beauty. Some may say, "Of course, someone such as yourself, who does not have outer beauty, will focus more on inner beauty. It's just a way 'ugly' people have of making themselves feel better." One might also say that Ms. Lopes can afford to say something so noble being that she is one of the "beautiful people" and she was probably just trying to get cool points during her interview. Regardless of what some may say or think, I think we are all beautiful people. It is truly not the outter shell you come in that makes you "pretty". It is what emanates from your inner being, your true self, your core, that makes you radiatingly beautiful. Each day when I look at my Facebook account I see this truth. There, I see the beautiful people I call my friends. These are the people who I share pieces of my life with. These are the people that make me feel every range of emotion under the sun. They are also the people who make me realize what true beauty is. They all look different. Some have more flaws (inner and outer) than others. But, the one constant is that these are people that I consider so "beautiful" that I want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with them. These people all represent different times in my life (some of which I'm not proud of). But, these are the people who have stuck by me and make my life better for having known them. Even those whom I may not have seen in years are still dear to me.

Ms. Lopes had it exactly right. It is who you are on the inside that makes you beautiful. It is the lessons you have learned, the failures you've had, the love, the hate, the joy, and the sadness, that makes you the beautiful, genuine person you are. Embrace that. Instead of focusing on whether you are an acceptable weight, or height, or this or that race, whether you're buff enough, whether your neck is too long or too short, whether your limbs are a perfect length, or any other physical attribute, focus on being kind, caring, empathetic, loving, sincere, and honest. Be a beautiful person by considering others sometimes before yourself. Hold the door for someone instead of letting it slam in their face. Give someone with a frown on their face a smile and a "hi". If you see someone struggling with something, give them a hand. Surprise the next person in line at Starbucks by paying for their drink. Do something that restores someones faith in mankind. Go to bed each night knowing that you are beautiful because you made this world a better place to live that day.

He said, she said, we said, I said, they said...

Earlier today I wrote Mr. Bourne his horoscope from yesterday's Sunday paper. He replied with what he thought the meaning of the horoscope was. I replied back telling him that this wasn't what I thought the meaning was at all. I immediately thought about the following scene from a Golden Girls episode:

 

Rose: Sophia, are you busy?

Sophia: Nah, I'm just drawing a line on the milk of magnesia bottle.

Rose: Why?

Sophia: I think the gardener's been sneaking a few sips!

Rose: I have a problem.

Sophia: All right. Take a sip, I'll draw another line.

Rose: No, no, it's not that . . . my boss at the center made a pass at me!

Sophia: Maybe you misunderstood; what exactly did he do?

Rose: He called me in his office and threw me down on the couch and kissed me!

Sophia: That's a pass . . . okay, I think I can help you. I'll tell you a story, Rose. Picture it--Sicily, 1922.

Blanche: [rushes in] Sophia, I have a problem! I just saw the guy I've been dating out with another woman! Now, what do you think I oughta do?

Sophia:I think you should sit down and picture Sicily, 1922. (Blanche sits) It was the worst of times; it was the worst of times. It was Sicily, 1922.

Dorothy:[enters] Ma, I have a problem.

Sophia: Just sit down and listen! First of all, is everyone who lives in this house here at this very moment!?

Dorothy: Yes.

Sophia: Then for the last time, PICTURE IT! Sicily, 1922! A beautiful young woman with breasts not unlike Brigitte Nielsen . . . except hers moved when she skipped! She comes walking down a picturesque country road when suddenly a yellow Rolls Royce pulls up and blocks her path!

Blanche: Ohhh! Who was in the Rolls?

Sophia: It doesn't matter, it's not important to the story. Anyway, the Rolls Royce moves on, and the girl finds her pepperoni is missing.

Rose: What happened to it, Sophia?

Sophia: Bambi ate it; how should I know?! You keep missing the point; the point is she has no pepperoni to bring to her family's table! She gets hysterical; she starts to run. She runs through the fields, the meadow, over the hill--until she comes to a raging river FILLED with pepperoni swimming upstream!

Dorothy: Ma, pepperoni swimming upstream?

Sophia: Yeah, I know, it's odd--pepperoni is a land meat. But there it was! She wades into the river, grabs an armful, and races home to feed her family. When she tells them the story, they think it's an act of God! But as it turns out a disgruntled pepperoni stuffer had blown up the factory in a neighboring town causing pepperoni to rain down over a hundred square miles--which is where the old Sicilian saying 'It's raining cats and pepperoni' comes from!

[Blanche, Rose and Dorothy all nod]

Sophia: Is this helping anyone yet; cause this sure feels like an ending to me.

Rose: Oh, it's helping me Sophia--what I got out of the story was that you should take a bad situation and make it better! [jumps up] I'm gonna tell my boss off![rushes out]

Blanche: That's not quite what I got out of it Sophia, I thought you were trying to tell me to dump my cheating boyfriend because there's lots of pepperoni in the sea!

Sophia: Yeah...that's exactly what I was trying to tell you.

Blanche: Thank you Sophia. [Blanche leaves]

Sophia: What about you, Dorothy, did I help you with your problem?

Dorothy: You sure did, Ma, I didn't know what to have for dinner. How about splitting a pepperoni pizza?

Sophia: Sure, you buying?

Dorothy: Does a pepperoni swim upstream?

Sophia: It did once, let's go!**

** Thanks http://wapedia.mobi/enwikiquote/The_Golden_Girls?t=3.6. for the above quotes.

It made me wonder if perhaps there are infinite ways different people can interpret the same situation. Mr. Bourne and I do it all of the time. One of us will say something and the other will take offense to it, not realizing that the other didn't mean it that way. Or, something that was meant to be serious will be laughed off as a joke. A number of years ago, author Stephenie Meyer started writing a book that would have been called Midnight Sun. It was the story told in the book Twilight from Edward Cullen's perspective. Although those characters are fictious, it was interesting to see how she spun the story of the same situations from another character's point of view. The two point of views were very different.

Why am I writing all of this? Sometimes we are quick to judge people based on a fleeting comment or a first glance. Someone that you may perceive as "snotty" or "arrogant" may be using it as a defence mechanism for something in their past. Perhaps someone who seems jovial all of the time is covering up deep seeded hurt. A shy person may simply be hesitant to open up to you because they've been criticized in the past. Maybe someone said something hurtful to you, but didn't realize how what they said may have affected you. Not only do we do this in relation to other people, we do it to ourselves. We will belittle or berate our bodies, personalities, careers...just about anything...because of what we think others think about us. Your "flaws" may just be in your mind or they may be beautiful to more people than you would ever imagine. They make you who you are. The lesson we should all learn is to be confident about who you are. Be respectful to other people. Don't judge people until you know for sure that you know 100% of their story.  Also, remember that there are two (and sometimes more) sides to a story.

Feeling guilty about the guilty pleasures

I'm learning to not feel guilty about my guilty pleasures. I'm still in the initial phases of this, but I'm getting there.

So, what are some of my guilty pleasures? Most of my joys revolve around simply spending time for myself to do things I want to do. For instance, as I'm writing my blog entry, I'm watching 80's videos on VH1 Classic. It's Sunday and therefore I will also get to comb through the newspapers and collect my coupons, circulars, and new articles of interest. Mr. Bourne is at work and this is MY time. Sometimes, I'll go back to sleep for a while. For the longest time, I felt guilty about these routines. I thought I should be doing something more useful like housework. What I soon came to realize is that I need these little pockets of "wasted" times in my days. They are the times that recharge my batteries and help me make it through the remainder of the day. Most of my days are full of neccesary things to do from the moment I get up until late evening. In recent months I'm starting to change the way I tackle my days. I fit in little guilty pleasures. When I get ready for work, I enjoy giving myself a mini pedicure. It only takes a few minutes each morning, but something about it makes me happy. On my way to work I give Mr. Bourne a call to make sure he got to work safely, to sing to him from whatever is on the radio (yes...I sing snippets of songs to Mr. Bourne as soon as he answers the phone each morning), and to just hear his voice. When I get to work I make a mug of unsweetened green tea. My day seems "off" if I don't have my green tea each day. It comforts me. Periodically during the work day I have certain people I like to email or chat with. After work, I like watching The Waltons while I fix dinner. After dinner, I sometimes take a nap, read, watch TV, or have Mr. Bourne play DJ and play music while we just play on our computers for a while. At night I have started enjoying watching Frazier before I got to bed. All total these little patches of daily guilty pleasures might add up to no more than three hours, but they really do get me through the day and help me achieve my daily goals.

The one guilty pleasure I truly do feel guilty about is the use of some of my weekends. Every few weekends, I have marathon sleeping sessions. I will literally sleep all day on some Saturdays. I often feel guilty about this because I know Mr. Bourne would rather us be out doing something. I will feel terrible about letting entire Saturdays slip away because I was sleeping. This is something I'm working on. I need to understand that those extended periods of sleep are going to make me a better person during the following week. Maybe I shouldn't view those weekends as a guilty pleasure but more as a neccesity. Maybe that's how I should view all of those things I call guilty pleasures. They are neccesary for me to be who I am and to get everything done. And, perhaps, they are not "wasted" activities at all but truly my own personal neccesities.

Slayer and other unfamiliar things

It is the rare occasion one will meet a person whose friendship is fleeting yet everlasting. One of the most fascinating people I have had the opportunity to meet was my friend Erica Graves. Although our friendship was brief, that relationship has impacted my life ever since. Unfortunately, in 1994, Erica passed away while we were both still students at The University of Virginia. Erica helped me get through some pretty tough times during the years I knew her. But, it was her ability to make people feel loved and special that will forever be my memory of her. Even people whom society would think are "ugly", she saw something about them that was beautiful. She also embraced different types of people. Because of her, I have tried to embrace others who are not "like" me--people with different life experiences and viewpoints.

It was with the spirit of Erica that I have embarked on a recent friendship. Back in February 2011, I met a very interesting person. I will simply call him "Uncle B". Uncle B is a really cool guy who brings to my life things I am unfamiliar with. He and I have completely different life experiences and yet a friendship has developed. I would venture to say that I am like no other friend he has. I definitely don't have any friends like him. I think one piece of the successful relationship is that we are both open-minded. We have agreed to disagree and to simply listen, research, and learn from each other. The other integral part of this friendship is Mr. Bourne's willingness to share his wife with Uncle B. What I mean by this is Mr. Bourne's understanding that I needed this friendship at this time in my life and that our relationship is not threatened by it. A lot of men wouldn't like their wives to have a male friend, but Mr. Bourne is a strong, confident, intelligent man. Mr. Bourne should also take comfort in knowing that my relationship with Uncle B is a completely different one than the one I have with him. My friendship with Uncle B is not intended to encroach on our marriage or my exclusive friendship with Mr. Bourne. A conversation with Uncle B and one with Mr. Bourne would be absolutely different in nature and I like that I can have such individual relationships.

And, so I wanted to share with everyone something that I've learned about because of Uncle B. One of the things that Uncle B, Mr. Bourne, and I all have in common are our love of music. Uncle B has a favorite musical group--Slayer. For those of you who don't know who they are (I was one of those people until a few months ago), they are a metal band. I think the genre is specifically called "thrash metal". I will confess that I'm a metal fan. But, my brand of metal is more of the commercially successful nature. There is also the issue of what bands are considered metal. I've read discussions on this band or that band not being "metal enough". I wish people would just listen to music and enjoy it without getting bogged down in the labels. If you enjoy something, you simply enjoy it. Then there is the confusion with the subgenres of metal, not to mention the overlap with what is considered metal and "rock". Rock and metal are very close bedfellows in my book.

Back to Slayer. So, Uncle B loves Slayer. I, personally, don't like them. We've agreed to disagree. I'm sure anyone hearing us discuss Slayer would get a good laugh out of the conversation. He defends Slayer to the end and I make fun of him. The conversation usually ends up with him confessing that he has no clue what the lyrics are in some of their songs and me doing a screaming imitation of what I perceive the lyrics to be. It's all in good fun and I know how much he loves that band regardless of my opinion. I'm sure he has tons of memories attached to Slayer songs and experiences related to the band. I would never cheapen his memories by sincerely "hating" Slayer. I have been listening to some of their songs in an attempt to find at least one that I will like. Who knows, that may never happen, but I will forever remember Slayer because of Uncle B. I challenge everyone to learn about something new today. Learn about a new musical group. Learn about a new lifestyle. Learn about a new country. Learn something. Learning about other people is the only way YOU can grow.

Random thought of the day

I have a severe issue staying focused. My husband, Mr. Bourne (that's how I want to refer to him in my blog), is probably the best witness to this on a daily basis. A conversation with me can be quite the test of one's concentration skills. I like to think my scattered thought patterns are as humorous as Rose Nylund's from The Golden Girls, but I know that's just not true.

So, this is how my brain works sometimes. I'll see something and it will start my mind wandering. Today, it was a blurb online about sea dragons. Watching the video of this one sea dragon floating along made me think about seahorses (which are in the same family as sea dragons). I hadn't thought about seahorses since I was a kid and decided to do a little research online. I watched some YouTube video of seahorses and remembered that the male of the species is the one who gets pregnant. Then my brain just went on and on. I wonder what the "purpose" of seahorses are? I wonder why it was decided by nature for the male to carry the babies? I remember getting kind of freaked out by seahorses as a kid because they looked just enough like a real horse (their heads really do look kinda "horse-like) to creep me out. In the end I spent about two hours researching and thinking about seahorses. Funny thing is, I've never even seen a seahorse in real life and might possibly never see one.
Watching the seahorses swimming around in the water made me think about my impending swimming lesson tonight. OK, here's the story. I can't swim. I am horrified of the thought of swimming. I always have been. When I was a kid, I took swimming lessons at our local YWCA and was terrible at it. I remember the first night when the instructor told me to "swim" to him, I sunk to the bottom of the pool and panicked. When I get into a pool, I get this surreal feeling of it expanding. I feel like there is water everywhere and that I'm going to get swept away or lost. I can't really explain it, but it makes me have panic attacks sometimes just thinking about having to swim. Back a few years ago I decided to learn to swim just in case I was ever in a situation in which I had to save my own life by swimming. I found the perfect swimming class at The University of Virginia..."Terrified Adult Swim". I have to admit that the title of the course is a bit...well...embarrassing. I have to walk up to the admittance desk at the gym and tell a 19 year old kid, "Yes, I'm here for the Terrified Adult swim class." I can only imagine them looking at the 39 year old (who is most likely the same age as their parents) in front of them and thinking all kinds of humiliating thoughts, each including me needing rubber swim panties in case I get scared and have an accident in the pool. That's a far stretch, but you get the idea. I really like the instructor for the class and she understands that years of fear might not be washed away in one term of the course. This is the fourth or fifth time I've taken the class and I'm still griped by fear. Right now, writing this, my head is starting to ache. It's also embarrassing for the instrutor to see it's me on the first night and tell me to go on and get into the pool while she discusses the administrative policies with those who have never taken the class--I can quote her entire spiel. Anyway, I'm going tonight. I think each time I take the class I get a little braver. I can swim a few feet before I realize that I'm actually swimming, that there isn't anything solid to grab onto around my body, and start to panic. I may never be able to save anyone else's life in a swimming situation, but I might be able to float my own way to safety.

NEW...but, maybe not so improved

I've been threatening to start writing on my blog again, but until today hadn't gotten around to it. Well, here I am.  Threats be damned!

I've been putting a lot of thought into what I want my blog to "be about". I could focus on one thing and would soon become bored with blogging yet again. I think I was previously so focused on my weight loss journey that I got bored with it. So, the rule for my blog is that there are no rules. I'm going to stick with my original desire for this blog...randomness. "Randomness" best describes me and my life. I'm not one for structure and this blog should reflect that and my personality. Of course, my weight loss/gain journey will be a huge (no pun intended) part of this blog. But, so will other "weighty matters" or things I'm thinking of each day. I'm also going to include more pictures also and really let my blog's visitors know about me. Basically, I want my blog to be a place in cyberspace where people can learn about me and I can reciprocate.