It is the rare occasion one will meet a person whose friendship is fleeting yet everlasting. One of the most fascinating people I have had the opportunity to meet was my friend Erica Graves. Although our friendship was brief, that relationship has impacted my life ever since. Unfortunately, in 1994, Erica passed away while we were both still students at The University of Virginia. Erica helped me get through some pretty tough times during the years I knew her. But, it was her ability to make people feel loved and special that will forever be my memory of her. Even people whom society would think are "ugly", she saw something about them that was beautiful. She also embraced different types of people. Because of her, I have tried to embrace others who are not "like" me--people with different life experiences and viewpoints.
It was with the spirit of Erica that I have embarked on a recent friendship. Back in February 2011, I met a very interesting person. I will simply call him "Uncle B". Uncle B is a really cool guy who brings to my life things I am unfamiliar with. He and I have completely different life experiences and yet a friendship has developed. I would venture to say that I am like no other friend he has. I definitely don't have any friends like him. I think one piece of the successful relationship is that we are both open-minded. We have agreed to disagree and to simply listen, research, and learn from each other. The other integral part of this friendship is Mr. Bourne's willingness to share his wife with Uncle B. What I mean by this is Mr. Bourne's understanding that I needed this friendship at this time in my life and that our relationship is not threatened by it. A lot of men wouldn't like their wives to have a male friend, but Mr. Bourne is a strong, confident, intelligent man. Mr. Bourne should also take comfort in knowing that my relationship with Uncle B is a completely different one than the one I have with him. My friendship with Uncle B is not intended to encroach on our marriage or my exclusive friendship with Mr. Bourne. A conversation with Uncle B and one with Mr. Bourne would be absolutely different in nature and I like that I can have such individual relationships.
And, so I wanted to share with everyone something that I've learned about because of Uncle B. One of the things that Uncle B, Mr. Bourne, and I all have in common are our love of music. Uncle B has a favorite musical group--Slayer. For those of you who don't know who they are (I was one of those people until a few months ago), they are a metal band. I think the genre is specifically called "thrash metal". I will confess that I'm a metal fan. But, my brand of metal is more of the commercially successful nature. There is also the issue of what bands are considered metal. I've read discussions on this band or that band not being "metal enough". I wish people would just listen to music and enjoy it without getting bogged down in the labels. If you enjoy something, you simply enjoy it. Then there is the confusion with the subgenres of metal, not to mention the overlap with what is considered metal and "rock". Rock and metal are very close bedfellows in my book.
Back to Slayer. So, Uncle B loves Slayer. I, personally, don't like them. We've agreed to disagree. I'm sure anyone hearing us discuss Slayer would get a good laugh out of the conversation. He defends Slayer to the end and I make fun of him. The conversation usually ends up with him confessing that he has no clue what the lyrics are in some of their songs and me doing a screaming imitation of what I perceive the lyrics to be. It's all in good fun and I know how much he loves that band regardless of my opinion. I'm sure he has tons of memories attached to Slayer songs and experiences related to the band. I would never cheapen his memories by sincerely "hating" Slayer. I have been listening to some of their songs in an attempt to find at least one that I will like. Who knows, that may never happen, but I will forever remember Slayer because of Uncle B. I challenge everyone to learn about something new today. Learn about a new musical group. Learn about a new lifestyle. Learn about a new country. Learn something. Learning about other people is the only way YOU can grow.
