It is the rare occasion one will meet a person whose friendship is fleeting yet everlasting. One of the most fascinating people I have had the opportunity to meet was my friend Erica Graves. Although our friendship was brief, that relationship has impacted my life ever since. Unfortunately, in 1994, Erica passed away while we were both still students at The University of Virginia. Erica helped me get through some pretty tough times during the years I knew her. But, it was her ability to make people feel loved and special that will forever be my memory of her. Even people whom society would think are "ugly", she saw something about them that was beautiful. She also embraced different types of people. Because of her, I have tried to embrace others who are not "like" me--people with different life experiences and viewpoints.
It was with the spirit of Erica that I have embarked on a recent friendship. Back in February 2011, I met a very interesting person. I will simply call him "Uncle B". Uncle B is a really cool guy who brings to my life things I am unfamiliar with. He and I have completely different life experiences and yet a friendship has developed. I would venture to say that I am like no other friend he has. I definitely don't have any friends like him. I think one piece of the successful relationship is that we are both open-minded. We have agreed to disagree and to simply listen, research, and learn from each other. The other integral part of this friendship is Mr. Bourne's willingness to share his wife with Uncle B. What I mean by this is Mr. Bourne's understanding that I needed this friendship at this time in my life and that our relationship is not threatened by it. A lot of men wouldn't like their wives to have a male friend, but Mr. Bourne is a strong, confident, intelligent man. Mr. Bourne should also take comfort in knowing that my relationship with Uncle B is a completely different one than the one I have with him. My friendship with Uncle B is not intended to encroach on our marriage or my exclusive friendship with Mr. Bourne. A conversation with Uncle B and one with Mr. Bourne would be absolutely different in nature and I like that I can have such individual relationships.
And, so I wanted to share with everyone something that I've learned about because of Uncle B. One of the things that Uncle B, Mr. Bourne, and I all have in common are our love of music. Uncle B has a favorite musical group--Slayer. For those of you who don't know who they are (I was one of those people until a few months ago), they are a metal band. I think the genre is specifically called "thrash metal". I will confess that I'm a metal fan. But, my brand of metal is more of the commercially successful nature. There is also the issue of what bands are considered metal. I've read discussions on this band or that band not being "metal enough". I wish people would just listen to music and enjoy it without getting bogged down in the labels. If you enjoy something, you simply enjoy it. Then there is the confusion with the subgenres of metal, not to mention the overlap with what is considered metal and "rock". Rock and metal are very close bedfellows in my book.
Back to Slayer. So, Uncle B loves Slayer. I, personally, don't like them. We've agreed to disagree. I'm sure anyone hearing us discuss Slayer would get a good laugh out of the conversation. He defends Slayer to the end and I make fun of him. The conversation usually ends up with him confessing that he has no clue what the lyrics are in some of their songs and me doing a screaming imitation of what I perceive the lyrics to be. It's all in good fun and I know how much he loves that band regardless of my opinion. I'm sure he has tons of memories attached to Slayer songs and experiences related to the band. I would never cheapen his memories by sincerely "hating" Slayer. I have been listening to some of their songs in an attempt to find at least one that I will like. Who knows, that may never happen, but I will forever remember Slayer because of Uncle B. I challenge everyone to learn about something new today. Learn about a new musical group. Learn about a new lifestyle. Learn about a new country. Learn something. Learning about other people is the only way YOU can grow.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Random thought of the day
I have a severe issue staying focused. My husband, Mr. Bourne (that's how I want to refer to him in my blog), is probably the best witness to this on a daily basis. A conversation with me can be quite the test of one's concentration skills. I like to think my scattered thought patterns are as humorous as Rose Nylund's from The Golden Girls, but I know that's just not true.
So, this is how my brain works sometimes. I'll see something and it will start my mind wandering. Today, it was a blurb online about sea dragons. Watching the video of this one sea dragon floating along made me think about seahorses (which are in the same family as sea dragons). I hadn't thought about seahorses since I was a kid and decided to do a little research online. I watched some YouTube video of seahorses and remembered that the male of the species is the one who gets pregnant. Then my brain just went on and on. I wonder what the "purpose" of seahorses are? I wonder why it was decided by nature for the male to carry the babies? I remember getting kind of freaked out by seahorses as a kid because they looked just enough like a real horse (their heads really do look kinda "horse-like) to creep me out. In the end I spent about two hours researching and thinking about seahorses. Funny thing is, I've never even seen a seahorse in real life and might possibly never see one.
Watching the seahorses swimming around in the water made me think about my impending swimming lesson tonight. OK, here's the story. I can't swim. I am horrified of the thought of swimming. I always have been. When I was a kid, I took swimming lessons at our local YWCA and was terrible at it. I remember the first night when the instructor told me to "swim" to him, I sunk to the bottom of the pool and panicked. When I get into a pool, I get this surreal feeling of it expanding. I feel like there is water everywhere and that I'm going to get swept away or lost. I can't really explain it, but it makes me have panic attacks sometimes just thinking about having to swim. Back a few years ago I decided to learn to swim just in case I was ever in a situation in which I had to save my own life by swimming. I found the perfect swimming class at The University of Virginia..."Terrified Adult Swim". I have to admit that the title of the course is a bit...well...embarrassing. I have to walk up to the admittance desk at the gym and tell a 19 year old kid, "Yes, I'm here for the Terrified Adult swim class." I can only imagine them looking at the 39 year old (who is most likely the same age as their parents) in front of them and thinking all kinds of humiliating thoughts, each including me needing rubber swim panties in case I get scared and have an accident in the pool. That's a far stretch, but you get the idea. I really like the instructor for the class and she understands that years of fear might not be washed away in one term of the course. This is the fourth or fifth time I've taken the class and I'm still griped by fear. Right now, writing this, my head is starting to ache. It's also embarrassing for the instrutor to see it's me on the first night and tell me to go on and get into the pool while she discusses the administrative policies with those who have never taken the class--I can quote her entire spiel. Anyway, I'm going tonight. I think each time I take the class I get a little braver. I can swim a few feet before I realize that I'm actually swimming, that there isn't anything solid to grab onto around my body, and start to panic. I may never be able to save anyone else's life in a swimming situation, but I might be able to float my own way to safety.
So, this is how my brain works sometimes. I'll see something and it will start my mind wandering. Today, it was a blurb online about sea dragons. Watching the video of this one sea dragon floating along made me think about seahorses (which are in the same family as sea dragons). I hadn't thought about seahorses since I was a kid and decided to do a little research online. I watched some YouTube video of seahorses and remembered that the male of the species is the one who gets pregnant. Then my brain just went on and on. I wonder what the "purpose" of seahorses are? I wonder why it was decided by nature for the male to carry the babies? I remember getting kind of freaked out by seahorses as a kid because they looked just enough like a real horse (their heads really do look kinda "horse-like) to creep me out. In the end I spent about two hours researching and thinking about seahorses. Funny thing is, I've never even seen a seahorse in real life and might possibly never see one.
Watching the seahorses swimming around in the water made me think about my impending swimming lesson tonight. OK, here's the story. I can't swim. I am horrified of the thought of swimming. I always have been. When I was a kid, I took swimming lessons at our local YWCA and was terrible at it. I remember the first night when the instructor told me to "swim" to him, I sunk to the bottom of the pool and panicked. When I get into a pool, I get this surreal feeling of it expanding. I feel like there is water everywhere and that I'm going to get swept away or lost. I can't really explain it, but it makes me have panic attacks sometimes just thinking about having to swim. Back a few years ago I decided to learn to swim just in case I was ever in a situation in which I had to save my own life by swimming. I found the perfect swimming class at The University of Virginia..."Terrified Adult Swim". I have to admit that the title of the course is a bit...well...embarrassing. I have to walk up to the admittance desk at the gym and tell a 19 year old kid, "Yes, I'm here for the Terrified Adult swim class." I can only imagine them looking at the 39 year old (who is most likely the same age as their parents) in front of them and thinking all kinds of humiliating thoughts, each including me needing rubber swim panties in case I get scared and have an accident in the pool. That's a far stretch, but you get the idea. I really like the instructor for the class and she understands that years of fear might not be washed away in one term of the course. This is the fourth or fifth time I've taken the class and I'm still griped by fear. Right now, writing this, my head is starting to ache. It's also embarrassing for the instrutor to see it's me on the first night and tell me to go on and get into the pool while she discusses the administrative policies with those who have never taken the class--I can quote her entire spiel. Anyway, I'm going tonight. I think each time I take the class I get a little braver. I can swim a few feet before I realize that I'm actually swimming, that there isn't anything solid to grab onto around my body, and start to panic. I may never be able to save anyone else's life in a swimming situation, but I might be able to float my own way to safety.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
NEW...but, maybe not so improved
I've been threatening to start writing on my blog again, but until today hadn't gotten around to it. Well, here I am. Threats be damned!
I've been putting a lot of thought into what I want my blog to "be about". I could focus on one thing and would soon become bored with blogging yet again. I think I was previously so focused on my weight loss journey that I got bored with it. So, the rule for my blog is that there are no rules. I'm going to stick with my original desire for this blog...randomness. "Randomness" best describes me and my life. I'm not one for structure and this blog should reflect that and my personality. Of course, my weight loss/gain journey will be a huge (no pun intended) part of this blog. But, so will other "weighty matters" or things I'm thinking of each day. I'm also going to include more pictures also and really let my blog's visitors know about me. Basically, I want my blog to be a place in cyberspace where people can learn about me and I can reciprocate.
I've been putting a lot of thought into what I want my blog to "be about". I could focus on one thing and would soon become bored with blogging yet again. I think I was previously so focused on my weight loss journey that I got bored with it. So, the rule for my blog is that there are no rules. I'm going to stick with my original desire for this blog...randomness. "Randomness" best describes me and my life. I'm not one for structure and this blog should reflect that and my personality. Of course, my weight loss/gain journey will be a huge (no pun intended) part of this blog. But, so will other "weighty matters" or things I'm thinking of each day. I'm also going to include more pictures also and really let my blog's visitors know about me. Basically, I want my blog to be a place in cyberspace where people can learn about me and I can reciprocate.
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