Rudeness everywhere

Okay, so I'm taking a deep breath before I start writing....

Now...

I try to be nice. I try to think of others before myself. I try to be the better person in a situation. But, I'm starting to think that I might just give being one of the rude people a try. I have quite a few pet peeves. I'm starting to figure out that most of them would fall under the categories of "rudeness", "inconsideration", and "nosiness".  Here are some examples:

A co-worker and I were talking a moment ago. I was giving her some important information that she needed. Another co-worker was crossing the room and decided that she needed to interrupt me to put in some useless information about the situation. I continued talking over the rude co-worker only to have to eventually shout out the name of the first co-worker to get everyone to shut up. Had the interrupter just kept her big mouth shut, she would have realized that her input was useless and that she looked like a fool for blurting it out. One of my other co-workers does a similar thing by coming in on conversations I'm having with someone else. She will stand there and go "what?" and "who?" and even start making up these strange parts of the story in hopes that we'll say "yes" to get her in on the conversation. Believe me, if I want you in on a conversation, I will include you. If you are not included, there may be a reason.

I know someone who does this weird talky thing. I can't tell if she is saying something to me, talking to herself, or talking to her imaginery friend. Most times it's to me while I'm focused on something important. I've gotten good at mindlessly saying "oh really?", "mmm, really?", and "I hear ya".

I have a co-worker who each morning will ask me how I'm doing. Before I can even start to tell her, she butts in and tells me the this and thats or what happened to her last night. Pretty obvious she didn't really want to know what was going on with me, but instead, wanted the open door to talk about herself.

Then there other people out in the world pissing me off. The person who can't wait until I bag my groceries in the U Scan aisle before they start ringing up their stuff, sending it crashing into my groceries as I try to bag them. One day I'm going to start putting their stuff in my bags too and just keep on walking. Or, maybe I'm most peeved at the people who think that they are so important that they must walk side-by-side on the sidewalk or in the hallway as they chatter, forcing you to have to either stop or go out of your way to avoid their running you over. No, I think it's the person who keeps on sitting at my desk at work and messing with my stuff and leaving crap on it or using my personal stuff to scribble on while I'm not at work or simply in the potty. Gee...so many people to be pissed off at. I'll need another lifetime to get it all in.

Happy Friday, everyone!!!

I know A LOT of beautiful people

I read a quote last night that really inspired me. Leila Lopes, the newly crowned Miss Universe from Angola, was asked what physical trait about herself she would change during the interview questions. This was her response:

"Thank God I'm very satisfied with the way God created me and I wouldn't change a thing," Lopes said. "I consider myself a woman endowed with inner beauty. I have acquired many wonderful principles from my family and I intend to follow these for the rest of my life." **

**http://news.yahoo.com/leila-lopes-angola-crowned-miss-universe-030158499.html

That brings me to my own views on beauty. Some may say, "Of course, someone such as yourself, who does not have outer beauty, will focus more on inner beauty. It's just a way 'ugly' people have of making themselves feel better." One might also say that Ms. Lopes can afford to say something so noble being that she is one of the "beautiful people" and she was probably just trying to get cool points during her interview. Regardless of what some may say or think, I think we are all beautiful people. It is truly not the outter shell you come in that makes you "pretty". It is what emanates from your inner being, your true self, your core, that makes you radiatingly beautiful. Each day when I look at my Facebook account I see this truth. There, I see the beautiful people I call my friends. These are the people who I share pieces of my life with. These are the people that make me feel every range of emotion under the sun. They are also the people who make me realize what true beauty is. They all look different. Some have more flaws (inner and outer) than others. But, the one constant is that these are people that I consider so "beautiful" that I want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with them. These people all represent different times in my life (some of which I'm not proud of). But, these are the people who have stuck by me and make my life better for having known them. Even those whom I may not have seen in years are still dear to me.

Ms. Lopes had it exactly right. It is who you are on the inside that makes you beautiful. It is the lessons you have learned, the failures you've had, the love, the hate, the joy, and the sadness, that makes you the beautiful, genuine person you are. Embrace that. Instead of focusing on whether you are an acceptable weight, or height, or this or that race, whether you're buff enough, whether your neck is too long or too short, whether your limbs are a perfect length, or any other physical attribute, focus on being kind, caring, empathetic, loving, sincere, and honest. Be a beautiful person by considering others sometimes before yourself. Hold the door for someone instead of letting it slam in their face. Give someone with a frown on their face a smile and a "hi". If you see someone struggling with something, give them a hand. Surprise the next person in line at Starbucks by paying for their drink. Do something that restores someones faith in mankind. Go to bed each night knowing that you are beautiful because you made this world a better place to live that day.

He said, she said, we said, I said, they said...

Earlier today I wrote Mr. Bourne his horoscope from yesterday's Sunday paper. He replied with what he thought the meaning of the horoscope was. I replied back telling him that this wasn't what I thought the meaning was at all. I immediately thought about the following scene from a Golden Girls episode:

 

Rose: Sophia, are you busy?

Sophia: Nah, I'm just drawing a line on the milk of magnesia bottle.

Rose: Why?

Sophia: I think the gardener's been sneaking a few sips!

Rose: I have a problem.

Sophia: All right. Take a sip, I'll draw another line.

Rose: No, no, it's not that . . . my boss at the center made a pass at me!

Sophia: Maybe you misunderstood; what exactly did he do?

Rose: He called me in his office and threw me down on the couch and kissed me!

Sophia: That's a pass . . . okay, I think I can help you. I'll tell you a story, Rose. Picture it--Sicily, 1922.

Blanche: [rushes in] Sophia, I have a problem! I just saw the guy I've been dating out with another woman! Now, what do you think I oughta do?

Sophia:I think you should sit down and picture Sicily, 1922. (Blanche sits) It was the worst of times; it was the worst of times. It was Sicily, 1922.

Dorothy:[enters] Ma, I have a problem.

Sophia: Just sit down and listen! First of all, is everyone who lives in this house here at this very moment!?

Dorothy: Yes.

Sophia: Then for the last time, PICTURE IT! Sicily, 1922! A beautiful young woman with breasts not unlike Brigitte Nielsen . . . except hers moved when she skipped! She comes walking down a picturesque country road when suddenly a yellow Rolls Royce pulls up and blocks her path!

Blanche: Ohhh! Who was in the Rolls?

Sophia: It doesn't matter, it's not important to the story. Anyway, the Rolls Royce moves on, and the girl finds her pepperoni is missing.

Rose: What happened to it, Sophia?

Sophia: Bambi ate it; how should I know?! You keep missing the point; the point is she has no pepperoni to bring to her family's table! She gets hysterical; she starts to run. She runs through the fields, the meadow, over the hill--until she comes to a raging river FILLED with pepperoni swimming upstream!

Dorothy: Ma, pepperoni swimming upstream?

Sophia: Yeah, I know, it's odd--pepperoni is a land meat. But there it was! She wades into the river, grabs an armful, and races home to feed her family. When she tells them the story, they think it's an act of God! But as it turns out a disgruntled pepperoni stuffer had blown up the factory in a neighboring town causing pepperoni to rain down over a hundred square miles--which is where the old Sicilian saying 'It's raining cats and pepperoni' comes from!

[Blanche, Rose and Dorothy all nod]

Sophia: Is this helping anyone yet; cause this sure feels like an ending to me.

Rose: Oh, it's helping me Sophia--what I got out of the story was that you should take a bad situation and make it better! [jumps up] I'm gonna tell my boss off![rushes out]

Blanche: That's not quite what I got out of it Sophia, I thought you were trying to tell me to dump my cheating boyfriend because there's lots of pepperoni in the sea!

Sophia: Yeah...that's exactly what I was trying to tell you.

Blanche: Thank you Sophia. [Blanche leaves]

Sophia: What about you, Dorothy, did I help you with your problem?

Dorothy: You sure did, Ma, I didn't know what to have for dinner. How about splitting a pepperoni pizza?

Sophia: Sure, you buying?

Dorothy: Does a pepperoni swim upstream?

Sophia: It did once, let's go!**

** Thanks http://wapedia.mobi/enwikiquote/The_Golden_Girls?t=3.6. for the above quotes.

It made me wonder if perhaps there are infinite ways different people can interpret the same situation. Mr. Bourne and I do it all of the time. One of us will say something and the other will take offense to it, not realizing that the other didn't mean it that way. Or, something that was meant to be serious will be laughed off as a joke. A number of years ago, author Stephenie Meyer started writing a book that would have been called Midnight Sun. It was the story told in the book Twilight from Edward Cullen's perspective. Although those characters are fictious, it was interesting to see how she spun the story of the same situations from another character's point of view. The two point of views were very different.

Why am I writing all of this? Sometimes we are quick to judge people based on a fleeting comment or a first glance. Someone that you may perceive as "snotty" or "arrogant" may be using it as a defence mechanism for something in their past. Perhaps someone who seems jovial all of the time is covering up deep seeded hurt. A shy person may simply be hesitant to open up to you because they've been criticized in the past. Maybe someone said something hurtful to you, but didn't realize how what they said may have affected you. Not only do we do this in relation to other people, we do it to ourselves. We will belittle or berate our bodies, personalities, careers...just about anything...because of what we think others think about us. Your "flaws" may just be in your mind or they may be beautiful to more people than you would ever imagine. They make you who you are. The lesson we should all learn is to be confident about who you are. Be respectful to other people. Don't judge people until you know for sure that you know 100% of their story.  Also, remember that there are two (and sometimes more) sides to a story.

Feeling guilty about the guilty pleasures

I'm learning to not feel guilty about my guilty pleasures. I'm still in the initial phases of this, but I'm getting there.

So, what are some of my guilty pleasures? Most of my joys revolve around simply spending time for myself to do things I want to do. For instance, as I'm writing my blog entry, I'm watching 80's videos on VH1 Classic. It's Sunday and therefore I will also get to comb through the newspapers and collect my coupons, circulars, and new articles of interest. Mr. Bourne is at work and this is MY time. Sometimes, I'll go back to sleep for a while. For the longest time, I felt guilty about these routines. I thought I should be doing something more useful like housework. What I soon came to realize is that I need these little pockets of "wasted" times in my days. They are the times that recharge my batteries and help me make it through the remainder of the day. Most of my days are full of neccesary things to do from the moment I get up until late evening. In recent months I'm starting to change the way I tackle my days. I fit in little guilty pleasures. When I get ready for work, I enjoy giving myself a mini pedicure. It only takes a few minutes each morning, but something about it makes me happy. On my way to work I give Mr. Bourne a call to make sure he got to work safely, to sing to him from whatever is on the radio (yes...I sing snippets of songs to Mr. Bourne as soon as he answers the phone each morning), and to just hear his voice. When I get to work I make a mug of unsweetened green tea. My day seems "off" if I don't have my green tea each day. It comforts me. Periodically during the work day I have certain people I like to email or chat with. After work, I like watching The Waltons while I fix dinner. After dinner, I sometimes take a nap, read, watch TV, or have Mr. Bourne play DJ and play music while we just play on our computers for a while. At night I have started enjoying watching Frazier before I got to bed. All total these little patches of daily guilty pleasures might add up to no more than three hours, but they really do get me through the day and help me achieve my daily goals.

The one guilty pleasure I truly do feel guilty about is the use of some of my weekends. Every few weekends, I have marathon sleeping sessions. I will literally sleep all day on some Saturdays. I often feel guilty about this because I know Mr. Bourne would rather us be out doing something. I will feel terrible about letting entire Saturdays slip away because I was sleeping. This is something I'm working on. I need to understand that those extended periods of sleep are going to make me a better person during the following week. Maybe I shouldn't view those weekends as a guilty pleasure but more as a neccesity. Maybe that's how I should view all of those things I call guilty pleasures. They are neccesary for me to be who I am and to get everything done. And, perhaps, they are not "wasted" activities at all but truly my own personal neccesities.