The gym and me

   Since July 2009, I've been going to the gym. It's still weird for me to write or say that phrase..."going to the gym" or "go to the gym". I think of myself and see myself in the mirror and don't think of me as someone who "goes to the gym". But, I am and I do. When I started in July, I had so many mixed emotions about it. I have been a fan of the Biggest Loser since its first season. I started going to casting calls and sending in video audition DVDs back a seasons ago. I've waited in line with hundreds of other people for hours in the heat, in the cold, and in the rain. Each time I've gone I've suffered an immediate feeling of rejection and depression. The first few casting calls I went to, I was the largest person there. At that time, the show was not taking someone as heavy as me. I went to the casting calls anyway. I was determined to charm them and convince them that someone my size could not only make the show interesting, but actually be able to do the challenges and exercises. No matter what persona I attack the casting calls at, they have not selected me. After each casting call (and through streams of tears) I vowed to lose weight before the next casting call I would attend. I have been able to keep that promise to myself. Each time I've gone to a casting call, I have weighed at least one pound lighter than the previous time.
     At the beginning of 2009, I decided that I was not going to wait around much longer for the Biggest Loser people to come to their senses and select me. I had to wait until July 2009 to take advantage of my employer's gym membership benefit. I decided that I wanted to join ACAC. They have one location about 5 minutes from my apartment and about 3 minutes from my job. I figured that would encourage me to go. I filled out my paperwork for the membership in mid-June. My membership would start on Wednesday July 1. On the evening of Tuesday, June 30, I went by the gym to "prep" myself for the next day. I explained to the membership coordinator that I was new to the gym and that I was going to be there the next morning. I wanted to know what to do so I could get started immediately. She was so nice. Based on my level of activity and my painful spurs, she recommended starting off on the Nu Step machine. It is a recumbent stepper. It does the arm and leg motion of a stepper, while sitting down and thus not putting as much pressure on the legs. The Nu Step can be set to provide more resistance and therefore giving a similar effect to walking on an incline. I tried out the machine that night. I had decided that I would go to the gym 3 times per week for 30 minutes each time. I had read that this was a good way to start and would actually help my body. At 5:30am on July 1, 2009 I started going to the gym. That first morning, one of the employees showed me how the exercise bikes worked as well. But, the Nu Step machine has been my primary form of exercise at the gym. In October and November 2009 I hardly ever went to the gym because my spurs hurt so badly that I could barely walk most days. The journey has been a tough one with the pain, but I'm still going to the gym (although not the 3 times per week).
    One day I was sitting at work and decided that I would like to try some of the other things my gym has to offer. I LOVE my gym. They have physical therapy and a spa as well. They have a pool and every piece of equipment imaginable. Most of the classes are free with a membership. AND, they have 3 locations that I can use. I see people working out and I want to so badly to be able to do the things I see them doing. I decided to inquire about the "Big Changes" program. For 8 weeks a personal trainer works with our group of 5 women to help us come up with an exercise and nutrition program. I do not need the nutrition part because I am going through the Weight Watchers program. We meet one night per week to work out. The trainer has also met with us each individually to set up a circuit we can do at the gym and at home. We should be doing the circuit at least 2 times per week outside of our weekly meeting. I've been doing it during the Biggest Loser commercial breaks. I also do them periodically during the week.
   I need to set a solid goal (not Solid Gold...HA!!!) for myself. I should get back to going to the gym three times per week and do my exercises at home each night. That is doable for me.

Being snowed in

   If you don't live on the East coast, you've probably heard that we recently had a great deal of snow here in Virginia. I don't handle winter weather well at all. When I was a kid my mother and I went over a bank sideways in her car during a snow event. Since that time, I panic when it snows, ices, or gets cold. I want to move out of this state and to somewhere in which it rarely if ever snows during winter months. I'm working on that. Anyway, being snowed in causes me all kinds of problems. I panic watching the snow fall and start to feel anxious. The anxiety makes me want to eat. I eat more when I'm snowed in than I do on an average day. It's less about boredom than anxiety for me.  I have already decided that I'm not going to weigh in at Weight Watchers this week. I don't want to spend the entire week worrying about the damage I did this past weekend. I'm heading to the gym today after work. The gym was not open this morning so I was not able to get in an early workout. So far, I've had 2 mugs of hot unsweetened green tea and a soyjoy bar. I forgot to make plans for dinner tonight, therefore I will have to get fast food tonight. I haven't had fast food in 11 days. I feel guilty, but I hope I can make a good choice when I do go out to eat.