I started this blog in the hopes that I would be able to find out more about myself as well as other people. I love learning from other people. I want to learn what works for other people and how I can help myself. In saying that, I want to be honest and open about myself. It may take many posts before I will get all of my background out to you, but I will write each day and try.
The biggest lesson I have to learn about relates to my weight. I have been overweight since I was about 5 years old. Wait a minute. I should say that I have been FAT since I was 5 years old. There I said it. Fat. Fat. Fat. Not overweight. Not chubby. Not fluffy, pudgy, plump, or zaftique. Fat. OK. I've said it. I'm trying to be more honest with myself. This is the first step. I'm saying that I'm fat. Moving on.
I have tried many many many diets. I've learned something from each one of them and I've even lost some weight on them. But, the weight never stayed off. I was on a diet when I was 8 years old once. On that diet I could have all of the mustard, unsweetened tea, and dill pickles that I wanted. Trouble was...I didn't want any of that crap. Back in those days, the goal of most diets was just to lose weight. It didn't matter whether it tasted good or whether one could maintain that lifestyle. When I was in elementary school, my mother went on the Nutrisystem program. Back then, all of the food items were packed in nondescript cans with white labels and black writing. You even had to go to their "store" and pick up your "groceries" for the week. When Mama would plop the food on a plate it looked and smelled (so she says) like dog food. But, having had the pleasure of mainly eating my mustard, dill pickles, and unsweetened tea, I devoured her "dog food" and wanted seconds. She hated the stuff so why let it go to waste? She lost weight because she wasn't eating and I gained because I was eating.
I can remember when I was about 5 years old having one pediatrician humiliate me and make me feel bad about being fat. I had been a pretty average sized kid until I had my tonsils removed when I was 5. Suddenly, I went from not being able to eat to being able to eat everything in sight. At first, my family thought I would grow out of it. They even thought it was kind of cute. I was the cute pudgy kid. As I got older, however, they realized that I was fat and that this wasn't normal. They tried not to alarm me to the seriousness of my situation and tried to make me feel as normal as possible.
