I have a favorite song from the 80s by a group called the Breakfast Club. The song is called "Right on Track". I love that song, not only for its musicality, but for the video. There are these women in the video dressed up like chickens and dancing. They have on deep red lipstick too. Now, as we all know chickens cannot dance and they totally don't have lips to put lipstick on. But, I think it is funny to think of what our world would be like if these dancing, lipstick wearing chickens really existed. A better one, I think.
The point of that little story is that the song makes me think about my weight loss journey. I'm constantly getting back on track. AND, it is very rarely that I am "right on track". I often sing that song to myself when I had a good day and do everything right. It's the hope that I am "right on track" or on the right track that inspires me. Then I go and mess it up by doing or eating something stupid. I'm so incredibly flawed. I often wonder if maybe my brain isn't wired all jacked up. Like I'm missing something up there that allows me to resist the things that are bad for me. If I'm creating my own problems, I seem to be plagued by natural ones. I may never find what will make me complete and "ok".
I go to my Weight Watchers meeting today at noon. I'm not going to weigh this week. Unless, I get some bravery between now and then, I'm just not going to do it. This is so typically me. I avoid the truth at every chance I get. My weight is what it is right now. Not knowing isn't going to change it or make it go away. Maybe I can rationalize it all before noon and go on and do it. I know what I did this past week and that it will show up on the scale. But, who does it matter to more than to me? So, why not know? If I had a tumor, I would want to know so I could get it taken care of. Not knowing isn't making the problem better, right? For the past 2 weeks, I've had the most tumultuous Thursdays. This is where I usually give up and coward away resolved that I will never change. Can I convince myself to weigh today?
