Last weekend, Mr. Bourne went home to southwest Virginia for a visit with his family. During a call over the weekend, Mr. Bourne advised me that he had purchased a head of cabbage. When he returned to Charlottesville, he brought with him the largest head of cabbage I had ever seen. He showed me the cabbage and proudly declared that we would be having "soul food" one night this week. I knew the cabbage would take quite a while to prepare, so I decided to have soul food night on one in which he would be home later. This ended up being on Wednesday. We rarely have "soul food" and I wanted it to be a special experience. I immediately started planning what I wanted to prepare. Soul food night isn't one of the healthiest. I don't feel too guilty about that being that we do it so infrequently. I decided that we would have fried pork chops, fried cabbage with bacon, and refrigerator biscuits.
Wednesday morning I made my daily phone call to Mr. Bourne on the way to work. I started singing my daily song to him, but something was wrong. He usually laughs at my terrible singing. Since when had he become a music critic? I asked what was wrong, but he just said it was nothing. Feeling hurt that he didn't want to share what was truly wrong, I abruptly ended the conversation. Great...my morning was starting off just great. You see, when Mr. Bourne is in a good mood, it tends to put me in a good mood too. I have less to worry about when all is well with him. I wrote Mr. Bourne an email when I got into my office to tell him that if he wanted to talk about whatever was wrong, that I was there for him. He eventually said that he was just in a bad mood, had a lot to do, and was dreading the long work day ahead of him. Having resolved that, I decided to do something special for him. I added something to my soul food menu--sweet potato casserole!! For many years, Mr. Bourne and I celebrated Thanksgiving at home in Charlottesville. In recent years, we have gone out of town on the holiday and therefore my sweet potato casserole hardly ever sees the light of day. I knew this was going to do the trick and make his bad day improve by 100%.
Long story short, the meal was great. Everything was perfect. But, there was one particular part of the meal that I'm the proudest of. The gravy. I've never been able to successfully make "pan gravy". I can use a mix to make gravy. I can open a jar or can and heat up someone else's gravy. I have never been able to make my own gravy. Just like homemade biscuits, edible homemade gravy had eluded me...until this past Wednesday. For about two hours I sat at the computer researching how to make gravy. After looking at countless recipes online, I took the most common features and did a mash-up to experiment with. First of all, I would start by frying the pork chops (which were coated in a rub consisting of Cajun seasoning, garlic powder, and paprika and then coated in flour). I fried the pork chops in EVOO on medium high heat until they were golden brown on each side and then removed them from the pan. It was now or never. I lowered the heat just slightly, took a deep breath, and sprinkled enough flour in the bottom of the pan to coat it. I put in about 3 tablespoons of unsalted butter and moved it around in the pan with the spatula until it melted. Then I started the process that I had always failed at. I started scraping the bottom of the pan to mix the butter, flour, and left over drippings and bits from the fried pork chops (fancy folks call those bits of leftover stuff "fond"). From my research I learned to mix the ingredients around for two minutes. I don't know if you've ever really evaluated two minutes before, but it really can seem like a long time depending on the situation. I put Mr. Bourne in charge of keeping track of the two minutes, yet I asked him over and over if it had been two minutes. As if there was some magic going on, at about two minutes the concoction in the pan started to turn brown. This was something I had never been able to do before. My attempts at gravy had always left me with this terrible, floury, nasty gunk in the pan. But, not this time. This time everything was going great. Once the flour, butter,"fond" concoction started turning brown, I put in about 1/2 cup of white cooking wine. With the liquid in the pan, the ingredients started to bubble a little and thicken. I got nervous because I could see that there wasn't enough liquid. I put about 1 cup of water in a measuring cup and started to add a little bit at a time until it was the consistency of gravy..REAL, ACTUAL gravy!!! I put in a can of drained mushrooms and continued mixing.
I know this is going to sound corny, but I think I wanted to cry when I looked into that pan and I saw what was unmistakeably a mushroom gravy. I hadn't tasted it at this point, but it looked like the real thing, at least. This was the farthest I had ever gotten to having my "gravy" actually look like gravy. We plated up everything and I waited for Mr. Bourne to try the pork chops and gravy. I HAD DONE IT!!!! It was great. The white wine and mushrooms took my gravy to an entirely different level of goodness. I remembered every single detail of what I did so I could recreate it in the future.
OK...big deal, right? Why yes it is. There are a few reasons I told this story. I have tried and tried over the years to make gravy. Perhaps the planets were just aligned perfectly on Wednesday. I don't know. All I know is, I did it this time. Had I given up, I would have never known the satisfaction of making something so delicious. Although gravy is a simple thing to make, I had never been able to do it correctly. This time I did. How many times have you tried and tried only to fail and get discouraged about something? Did you give up or keep on trying? If you gave up, you may be missing the one time when it all falls into place, whatever works, you succeed, and learn the lesson that all of the trials were leading up to. Gravy may seem like a trivial thing to most. But, as my LONG tale shows, sometimes the little things mean so much. I have been smiling from ear to ear about this gravy. It was a small accomplishment, but a significant one to me. My gravy failures have been intertwined with so many other things. When I couldn't make that gravy over the years, I thought something was wrong with me. It's gravy for goodness sake! Something must have been wrong with me if I couldn't mix flour, water, and greasy bits together correctly. What I learned is that it was my patience that was being tested. That two minutes of mixing seemed like an eternity when waiting for something to work or not. In the past, those two minutes broke me. This time I saw how important it can be to be patient- great things can happen if you are. The last reason I wanted to tell this story is to share the recipe for making gravy. I know a lot of people my age who have no clue how to cook. Many of them don't know how to make some of the basic things. I think we get so bogged down in the failures that we are afraid to try. It's easier to pop open a can or jar than to watch a lumpy mess in a pan not even pretend to be gravy. It's hard on ones self esteem to fail. Successful cooking can be a real ego booster. To know that you can take care of yourself by cooking your own meals is empowering. As I learn, I'm going to pass this knowledge on through this blog. If nothing else, you all now know how to make gravy!
Showing posts with label Random thought. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random thought. Show all posts
Friday, September 30, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Rudeness everywhere
Okay, so I'm taking a deep breath before I start writing....
Now...
I try to be nice. I try to think of others before myself. I try to be the better person in a situation. But, I'm starting to think that I might just give being one of the rude people a try. I have quite a few pet peeves. I'm starting to figure out that most of them would fall under the categories of "rudeness", "inconsideration", and "nosiness". Here are some examples:
A co-worker and I were talking a moment ago. I was giving her some important information that she needed. Another co-worker was crossing the room and decided that she needed to interrupt me to put in some useless information about the situation. I continued talking over the rude co-worker only to have to eventually shout out the name of the first co-worker to get everyone to shut up. Had the interrupter just kept her big mouth shut, she would have realized that her input was useless and that she looked like a fool for blurting it out. One of my other co-workers does a similar thing by coming in on conversations I'm having with someone else. She will stand there and go "what?" and "who?" and even start making up these strange parts of the story in hopes that we'll say "yes" to get her in on the conversation. Believe me, if I want you in on a conversation, I will include you. If you are not included, there may be a reason.
I know someone who does this weird talky thing. I can't tell if she is saying something to me, talking to herself, or talking to her imaginery friend. Most times it's to me while I'm focused on something important. I've gotten good at mindlessly saying "oh really?", "mmm, really?", and "I hear ya".
I have a co-worker who each morning will ask me how I'm doing. Before I can even start to tell her, she butts in and tells me the this and thats or what happened to her last night. Pretty obvious she didn't really want to know what was going on with me, but instead, wanted the open door to talk about herself.
Then there other people out in the world pissing me off. The person who can't wait until I bag my groceries in the U Scan aisle before they start ringing up their stuff, sending it crashing into my groceries as I try to bag them. One day I'm going to start putting their stuff in my bags too and just keep on walking. Or, maybe I'm most peeved at the people who think that they are so important that they must walk side-by-side on the sidewalk or in the hallway as they chatter, forcing you to have to either stop or go out of your way to avoid their running you over. No, I think it's the person who keeps on sitting at my desk at work and messing with my stuff and leaving crap on it or using my personal stuff to scribble on while I'm not at work or simply in the potty. Gee...so many people to be pissed off at. I'll need another lifetime to get it all in.
Happy Friday, everyone!!!
Now...
I try to be nice. I try to think of others before myself. I try to be the better person in a situation. But, I'm starting to think that I might just give being one of the rude people a try. I have quite a few pet peeves. I'm starting to figure out that most of them would fall under the categories of "rudeness", "inconsideration", and "nosiness". Here are some examples:
A co-worker and I were talking a moment ago. I was giving her some important information that she needed. Another co-worker was crossing the room and decided that she needed to interrupt me to put in some useless information about the situation. I continued talking over the rude co-worker only to have to eventually shout out the name of the first co-worker to get everyone to shut up. Had the interrupter just kept her big mouth shut, she would have realized that her input was useless and that she looked like a fool for blurting it out. One of my other co-workers does a similar thing by coming in on conversations I'm having with someone else. She will stand there and go "what?" and "who?" and even start making up these strange parts of the story in hopes that we'll say "yes" to get her in on the conversation. Believe me, if I want you in on a conversation, I will include you. If you are not included, there may be a reason.
I know someone who does this weird talky thing. I can't tell if she is saying something to me, talking to herself, or talking to her imaginery friend. Most times it's to me while I'm focused on something important. I've gotten good at mindlessly saying "oh really?", "mmm, really?", and "I hear ya".
I have a co-worker who each morning will ask me how I'm doing. Before I can even start to tell her, she butts in and tells me the this and thats or what happened to her last night. Pretty obvious she didn't really want to know what was going on with me, but instead, wanted the open door to talk about herself.
Then there other people out in the world pissing me off. The person who can't wait until I bag my groceries in the U Scan aisle before they start ringing up their stuff, sending it crashing into my groceries as I try to bag them. One day I'm going to start putting their stuff in my bags too and just keep on walking. Or, maybe I'm most peeved at the people who think that they are so important that they must walk side-by-side on the sidewalk or in the hallway as they chatter, forcing you to have to either stop or go out of your way to avoid their running you over. No, I think it's the person who keeps on sitting at my desk at work and messing with my stuff and leaving crap on it or using my personal stuff to scribble on while I'm not at work or simply in the potty. Gee...so many people to be pissed off at. I'll need another lifetime to get it all in.
Happy Friday, everyone!!!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I know A LOT of beautiful people
I read a quote last night that really inspired me. Leila Lopes, the newly crowned Miss Universe from Angola, was asked what physical trait about herself she would change during the interview questions. This was her response:
"Thank God I'm very satisfied with the way God created me and I wouldn't change a thing," Lopes said. "I consider myself a woman endowed with inner beauty. I have acquired many wonderful principles from my family and I intend to follow these for the rest of my life." **
**http://news.yahoo.com/leila-lopes-angola-crowned-miss-universe-030158499.html
That brings me to my own views on beauty. Some may say, "Of course, someone such as yourself, who does not have outer beauty, will focus more on inner beauty. It's just a way 'ugly' people have of making themselves feel better." One might also say that Ms. Lopes can afford to say something so noble being that she is one of the "beautiful people" and she was probably just trying to get cool points during her interview. Regardless of what some may say or think, I think we are all beautiful people. It is truly not the outter shell you come in that makes you "pretty". It is what emanates from your inner being, your true self, your core, that makes you radiatingly beautiful. Each day when I look at my Facebook account I see this truth. There, I see the beautiful people I call my friends. These are the people who I share pieces of my life with. These are the people that make me feel every range of emotion under the sun. They are also the people who make me realize what true beauty is. They all look different. Some have more flaws (inner and outer) than others. But, the one constant is that these are people that I consider so "beautiful" that I want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with them. These people all represent different times in my life (some of which I'm not proud of). But, these are the people who have stuck by me and make my life better for having known them. Even those whom I may not have seen in years are still dear to me.
Ms. Lopes had it exactly right. It is who you are on the inside that makes you beautiful. It is the lessons you have learned, the failures you've had, the love, the hate, the joy, and the sadness, that makes you the beautiful, genuine person you are. Embrace that. Instead of focusing on whether you are an acceptable weight, or height, or this or that race, whether you're buff enough, whether your neck is too long or too short, whether your limbs are a perfect length, or any other physical attribute, focus on being kind, caring, empathetic, loving, sincere, and honest. Be a beautiful person by considering others sometimes before yourself. Hold the door for someone instead of letting it slam in their face. Give someone with a frown on their face a smile and a "hi". If you see someone struggling with something, give them a hand. Surprise the next person in line at Starbucks by paying for their drink. Do something that restores someones faith in mankind. Go to bed each night knowing that you are beautiful because you made this world a better place to live that day.
"Thank God I'm very satisfied with the way God created me and I wouldn't change a thing," Lopes said. "I consider myself a woman endowed with inner beauty. I have acquired many wonderful principles from my family and I intend to follow these for the rest of my life." **
**http://news.yahoo.com/leila-lopes-angola-crowned-miss-universe-030158499.html
That brings me to my own views on beauty. Some may say, "Of course, someone such as yourself, who does not have outer beauty, will focus more on inner beauty. It's just a way 'ugly' people have of making themselves feel better." One might also say that Ms. Lopes can afford to say something so noble being that she is one of the "beautiful people" and she was probably just trying to get cool points during her interview. Regardless of what some may say or think, I think we are all beautiful people. It is truly not the outter shell you come in that makes you "pretty". It is what emanates from your inner being, your true self, your core, that makes you radiatingly beautiful. Each day when I look at my Facebook account I see this truth. There, I see the beautiful people I call my friends. These are the people who I share pieces of my life with. These are the people that make me feel every range of emotion under the sun. They are also the people who make me realize what true beauty is. They all look different. Some have more flaws (inner and outer) than others. But, the one constant is that these are people that I consider so "beautiful" that I want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with them. These people all represent different times in my life (some of which I'm not proud of). But, these are the people who have stuck by me and make my life better for having known them. Even those whom I may not have seen in years are still dear to me.
Ms. Lopes had it exactly right. It is who you are on the inside that makes you beautiful. It is the lessons you have learned, the failures you've had, the love, the hate, the joy, and the sadness, that makes you the beautiful, genuine person you are. Embrace that. Instead of focusing on whether you are an acceptable weight, or height, or this or that race, whether you're buff enough, whether your neck is too long or too short, whether your limbs are a perfect length, or any other physical attribute, focus on being kind, caring, empathetic, loving, sincere, and honest. Be a beautiful person by considering others sometimes before yourself. Hold the door for someone instead of letting it slam in their face. Give someone with a frown on their face a smile and a "hi". If you see someone struggling with something, give them a hand. Surprise the next person in line at Starbucks by paying for their drink. Do something that restores someones faith in mankind. Go to bed each night knowing that you are beautiful because you made this world a better place to live that day.
Monday, September 12, 2011
He said, she said, we said, I said, they said...
Earlier today I wrote Mr. Bourne his horoscope from yesterday's Sunday paper. He replied with what he thought the meaning of the horoscope was. I replied back telling him that this wasn't what I thought the meaning was at all. I immediately thought about the following scene from a Golden Girls episode:
[Blanche, Rose and Dorothy all nod]
- Sophia: Is this helping anyone yet; cause this sure feels like an ending to me.
- Rose: Oh, it's helping me Sophia--what I got out of the story was that you should take a bad situation and make it better! [jumps up] I'm gonna tell my boss off![rushes out]
- Blanche: That's not quite what I got out of it Sophia, I thought you were trying to tell me to dump my cheating boyfriend because there's lots of pepperoni in the sea!
- Sophia: Yeah...that's exactly what I was trying to tell you.
- Blanche: Thank you Sophia. [Blanche leaves]
- Sophia: What about you, Dorothy, did I help you with your problem?
- Dorothy: You sure did, Ma, I didn't know what to have for dinner. How about splitting a pepperoni pizza?
- Sophia: Sure, you buying?
- Dorothy: Does a pepperoni swim upstream?
- Sophia: It did once, let's go!**
It made me wonder if perhaps there are infinite ways different people can interpret the same situation. Mr. Bourne and I do it all of the time. One of us will say something and the other will take offense to it, not realizing that the other didn't mean it that way. Or, something that was meant to be serious will be laughed off as a joke. A number of years ago, author Stephenie Meyer started writing a book that would have been called Midnight Sun. It was the story told in the book Twilight from Edward Cullen's perspective. Although those characters are fictious, it was interesting to see how she spun the story of the same situations from another character's point of view. The two point of views were very different.
Why am I writing all of this? Sometimes we are quick to judge people based on a fleeting comment or a first glance. Someone that you may perceive as "snotty" or "arrogant" may be using it as a defence mechanism for something in their past. Perhaps someone who seems jovial all of the time is covering up deep seeded hurt. A shy person may simply be hesitant to open up to you because they've been criticized in the past. Maybe someone said something hurtful to you, but didn't realize how what they said may have affected you. Not only do we do this in relation to other people, we do it to ourselves. We will belittle or berate our bodies, personalities, careers...just about anything...because of what we think others think about us. Your "flaws" may just be in your mind or they may be beautiful to more people than you would ever imagine. They make you who you are. The lesson we should all learn is to be confident about who you are. Be respectful to other people. Don't judge people until you know for sure that you know 100% of their story. Also, remember that there are two (and sometimes more) sides to a story.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Slayer and other unfamiliar things
It is the rare occasion one will meet a person whose friendship is fleeting yet everlasting. One of the most fascinating people I have had the opportunity to meet was my friend Erica Graves. Although our friendship was brief, that relationship has impacted my life ever since. Unfortunately, in 1994, Erica passed away while we were both still students at The University of Virginia. Erica helped me get through some pretty tough times during the years I knew her. But, it was her ability to make people feel loved and special that will forever be my memory of her. Even people whom society would think are "ugly", she saw something about them that was beautiful. She also embraced different types of people. Because of her, I have tried to embrace others who are not "like" me--people with different life experiences and viewpoints.
It was with the spirit of Erica that I have embarked on a recent friendship. Back in February 2011, I met a very interesting person. I will simply call him "Uncle B". Uncle B is a really cool guy who brings to my life things I am unfamiliar with. He and I have completely different life experiences and yet a friendship has developed. I would venture to say that I am like no other friend he has. I definitely don't have any friends like him. I think one piece of the successful relationship is that we are both open-minded. We have agreed to disagree and to simply listen, research, and learn from each other. The other integral part of this friendship is Mr. Bourne's willingness to share his wife with Uncle B. What I mean by this is Mr. Bourne's understanding that I needed this friendship at this time in my life and that our relationship is not threatened by it. A lot of men wouldn't like their wives to have a male friend, but Mr. Bourne is a strong, confident, intelligent man. Mr. Bourne should also take comfort in knowing that my relationship with Uncle B is a completely different one than the one I have with him. My friendship with Uncle B is not intended to encroach on our marriage or my exclusive friendship with Mr. Bourne. A conversation with Uncle B and one with Mr. Bourne would be absolutely different in nature and I like that I can have such individual relationships.
And, so I wanted to share with everyone something that I've learned about because of Uncle B. One of the things that Uncle B, Mr. Bourne, and I all have in common are our love of music. Uncle B has a favorite musical group--Slayer. For those of you who don't know who they are (I was one of those people until a few months ago), they are a metal band. I think the genre is specifically called "thrash metal". I will confess that I'm a metal fan. But, my brand of metal is more of the commercially successful nature. There is also the issue of what bands are considered metal. I've read discussions on this band or that band not being "metal enough". I wish people would just listen to music and enjoy it without getting bogged down in the labels. If you enjoy something, you simply enjoy it. Then there is the confusion with the subgenres of metal, not to mention the overlap with what is considered metal and "rock". Rock and metal are very close bedfellows in my book.
Back to Slayer. So, Uncle B loves Slayer. I, personally, don't like them. We've agreed to disagree. I'm sure anyone hearing us discuss Slayer would get a good laugh out of the conversation. He defends Slayer to the end and I make fun of him. The conversation usually ends up with him confessing that he has no clue what the lyrics are in some of their songs and me doing a screaming imitation of what I perceive the lyrics to be. It's all in good fun and I know how much he loves that band regardless of my opinion. I'm sure he has tons of memories attached to Slayer songs and experiences related to the band. I would never cheapen his memories by sincerely "hating" Slayer. I have been listening to some of their songs in an attempt to find at least one that I will like. Who knows, that may never happen, but I will forever remember Slayer because of Uncle B. I challenge everyone to learn about something new today. Learn about a new musical group. Learn about a new lifestyle. Learn about a new country. Learn something. Learning about other people is the only way YOU can grow.
It was with the spirit of Erica that I have embarked on a recent friendship. Back in February 2011, I met a very interesting person. I will simply call him "Uncle B". Uncle B is a really cool guy who brings to my life things I am unfamiliar with. He and I have completely different life experiences and yet a friendship has developed. I would venture to say that I am like no other friend he has. I definitely don't have any friends like him. I think one piece of the successful relationship is that we are both open-minded. We have agreed to disagree and to simply listen, research, and learn from each other. The other integral part of this friendship is Mr. Bourne's willingness to share his wife with Uncle B. What I mean by this is Mr. Bourne's understanding that I needed this friendship at this time in my life and that our relationship is not threatened by it. A lot of men wouldn't like their wives to have a male friend, but Mr. Bourne is a strong, confident, intelligent man. Mr. Bourne should also take comfort in knowing that my relationship with Uncle B is a completely different one than the one I have with him. My friendship with Uncle B is not intended to encroach on our marriage or my exclusive friendship with Mr. Bourne. A conversation with Uncle B and one with Mr. Bourne would be absolutely different in nature and I like that I can have such individual relationships.
And, so I wanted to share with everyone something that I've learned about because of Uncle B. One of the things that Uncle B, Mr. Bourne, and I all have in common are our love of music. Uncle B has a favorite musical group--Slayer. For those of you who don't know who they are (I was one of those people until a few months ago), they are a metal band. I think the genre is specifically called "thrash metal". I will confess that I'm a metal fan. But, my brand of metal is more of the commercially successful nature. There is also the issue of what bands are considered metal. I've read discussions on this band or that band not being "metal enough". I wish people would just listen to music and enjoy it without getting bogged down in the labels. If you enjoy something, you simply enjoy it. Then there is the confusion with the subgenres of metal, not to mention the overlap with what is considered metal and "rock". Rock and metal are very close bedfellows in my book.
Back to Slayer. So, Uncle B loves Slayer. I, personally, don't like them. We've agreed to disagree. I'm sure anyone hearing us discuss Slayer would get a good laugh out of the conversation. He defends Slayer to the end and I make fun of him. The conversation usually ends up with him confessing that he has no clue what the lyrics are in some of their songs and me doing a screaming imitation of what I perceive the lyrics to be. It's all in good fun and I know how much he loves that band regardless of my opinion. I'm sure he has tons of memories attached to Slayer songs and experiences related to the band. I would never cheapen his memories by sincerely "hating" Slayer. I have been listening to some of their songs in an attempt to find at least one that I will like. Who knows, that may never happen, but I will forever remember Slayer because of Uncle B. I challenge everyone to learn about something new today. Learn about a new musical group. Learn about a new lifestyle. Learn about a new country. Learn something. Learning about other people is the only way YOU can grow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)